Gary Codeslinger

Gary is a Senior Developer. He started years ago "when you had to carve your code with a hammer and chisel and wait 2 weeks for a batch compile".

He doesn't understand why we need so much technology today because we used to do the same thing with just COBOL, greensheet printouts, a clear plastic debugger ruler, and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He thinks Docker are slacks, Slack is "not working", java is what you drink with your full stack at Pancake House, angular, agile, and "best of breed" are ways to describe football players, and IDE is a form of birth control.

He knows the legacy system like the back of his hand (except for that wart right in the middle). He never went to school for programming but learned from our original system's code. He tries to follow standards and be a team player, but ultimately is a lone ranger who grunts things through when no one else is looking.

His achievements are prolific, surpassed only by the volume of code he's written that no one else can read.

Inspired by:my dad, Boo, Tom, Ken, Jay
Primary Motivation:getting today's work done before missing Happy Hour
Pet Peeve:people who are lazy or stupid
Catch Phrase:"You kids do everything the hard way."
Biggest Accomplishment:outlasting all of his peers
Favorite Movie:anything with Samuel L. Jackson
Favorite book:The Corporate Programmer Survival Guide


How Gary is Drawn

Gary is drawn with 20 rectangles, each with a border and some with rounded corners or slanted angles. These rectangles are described by data stored as arguments that are converted by software into HTML that your browser displays as pictures. Check out this Javascript example of code you can play with to alter my characters or create your own. Here are Gary's arguments:

Line left:89 top:27 width:0 height:89 bdrWth:0 leftWth:2 Angle:00
Gary, Sr Dev
Talk left:0 top:0 width:152 bdrWth:10 font-size:15 bdrClr:#b7db9d background:#b7db9d text-align:center ClipWth:264
Gary, Sr Dev
Person left:42 top:125 bdrWth:0
Gary, Sr Dev
LeftEar left:0 top:43 width:11 height:18 radius:9 background:#cb9767 Angle:-15
Gary, Sr Dev
RightEar left:83 top:43 width:11 height:18 radius:9 background:#cb9767 Angle:15
Gary, Sr Dev
Torso left:-24 top:105 width:139 height:135 radius:37 background:gold
Gary, Sr Dev
Face left:8 top:10 width:77 height:96 radius:0 topLftRad:40 topRgtRad:40 botLftRad:46 botRgtRad:46 background:#cb9767 radTopRgt:0% radBotLft:0%
Gary, Sr Dev
LeftEye left:16 top:27 width:18 height:18 radius:50% background:white
Gary, Sr Dev
RightEye left:39 top:27 width:18 height:18 radius:50% background:white
Gary, Sr Dev
LeftPupil left:25 top:35 width:6 height:7 radius:50% background:tan
Gary, Sr Dev
RightPupil left:42 top:35 width:6 height:7 radius:50% background:tan
Gary, Sr Dev
LeftEyebrow left:13 top:21 width:18 height:18 bdrWth:0 topWth:2 Angle:25
Gary, Sr Dev
RightEyebrow left:42 top:21 width:18 height:18 bdrWth:0 topWth:2 Angle:-25
Gary, Sr Dev
Mouth left:25 top:63 width:24 height:18 radius:50% background:lightcoral
Gary, Sr Dev
Nose1 left:32 top:49 width:9 height:1 bdrWth:0 topWth:2 Angle:-15
Gary, Sr Dev
Nose2 left:35 top:53 width:9 height:1 bdrWth:0 topWth:2 Angle:-80
Gary, Sr Dev
Earpiece left:-3 top:36 width:3 height:9 radius:50% background:black
Gary, Sr Dev
Headset left:0 top:30 width:37 height:37 radius:35% Angle:-140 ClipHgt:11
Gary, Sr Dev
Mike left:20 top:68 width:7 height:3 radius:50% background:black
Gary, Sr Dev
Name left:7 top:113 width:-3 bdrWth:0 font-size:13
Gary, Sr Dev

The Resulting HTML:

<div id='Panel1' class='aaa' style='position:relative; width:166px; height:257px; border:2px solid; background-color:#b7db9d; color:black; display:inline-block; vertical-align:top; font-family:Ssans-serif,cursive,sans-serif; margin-right:0px; overflow:hidden; margin-bottom:5px; '>

<div id='Line' class='abs2' style='left:89px; top:27px; width:0; height:89px; border-width:0; border-left-width:2px; transform:rotate(00deg); '></div>

<div id='Talk' class='abs2' style='left:0; top:0; width:152px; border-width:10px; font-size:15px; border-color:#b7db9d; background:#b7db9d; text-align:center; clip:rect(0 264px 9999px 0); font-weight:bold; '> BLAH BLAH BLAH</div>

<div id='Person' class='abs2' style='left:42px; top:125px; border-width:0; '>

<div id='LeftEar' class='abs2' style='left:0; top:43px; width:11px; height:18px; border-radius:9px; -moz-border-radius:9px; -webkit-border-radius:9px; background:#cb9767; transform:rotate(-15deg); '></div>

<div id='RightEar' class='abs2' style='left:83px; top:43px; width:11px; height:18px; border-radius:9px; -moz-border-radius:9px; -webkit-border-radius:9px; background:#cb9767; transform:rotate(15deg); '></div>

<div id='Torso' class='abs2' style='left:-24px; top:105px; width:139px; height:135px; border-radius:37px; -moz-border-radius:37px; -webkit-border-radius:37px; background:gold; '></div>

<div id='Face' class='abs2' style='left:8px; top:10px; width:77px; height:96px; border-radius:0; -moz-border-radius:0; -webkit-border-radius:0; border-top-left-radius:40px; -moz-border-top-left-radius:40px; -webkit-border-top-left-radius:40px; border-top-right-radius:40px; -moz-border-top-right-radius:40px; -webkit-border-top-right-radius:40px; border-bottom-left-radius:46px; -moz-border-bottom-left-radius:46px; -webkit-border-bottom-left-radius:46px; border-bottom-right-radius:46px; -moz-border-bottom-right-radius:46px; -webkit-border-bottom-right-radius:46px; background:#cb9767; border-radius-top-right:0%; -moz-border-radius-top-right:0%; -webkit-border-radius-top-right:0%; border-radius-bottom-left:0%; -moz-border-radius-bottom-left:0%; -webkit-border-radius-bottom-left:0%; '>

<div id='LeftEye' class='abs2' style='left:16px; top:27px; width:18px; height:18px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:white; '></div>

<div id='RightEye' class='abs2' style='left:39px; top:27px; width:18px; height:18px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:white; '></div>

<div id='LeftPupil' class='abs2' style='left:25px; top:35px; width:6px; height:7px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:tan; '></div>

<div id='RightPupil' class='abs2' style='left:42px; top:35px; width:6px; height:7px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:tan; '></div>

<div id='LeftEyebrow' class='abs2' style='left:13px; top:21px; width:18px; height:18px; border-width:0; border-top-width:2px; transform:rotate(25deg); '></div>

<div id='RightEyebrow' class='abs2' style='left:42px; top:21px; width:18px; height:18px; border-width:0; border-top-width:2px; transform:rotate(-25deg); '></div>

<div id='Mouth' class='abs2' style='left:25px; top:63px; width:24px; height:18px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:lightcoral; '></div>

<div id='Nose1' class='abs2' style='left:32px; top:49px; width:9px; height:2px; border-width:0; border-top-width:2px; transform:rotate(-15deg); '></div>

<div id='Nose2' class='abs2' style='left:35px; top:53px; width:9px; height:2px; border-width:0; border-top-width:2px; transform:rotate(-80deg); '></div>

<div id='Earpiece' class='abs2' style='left:-3px; top:36px; width:3px; height:9px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

<div id='Headset' class='abs2' style='left:0; top:30px; width:37px; height:37px; border-radius:35%; -moz-border-radius:35%; -webkit-border-radius:35%; transform:rotate(-140deg); clip:rect(0 9999px 11px 0); '></div>

<div id='Mike' class='abs2' style='left:20px; top:68px; width:7px; height:3px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

</div> <!close Face>

<div id='Name' class='abs2' style='left:7px; top:113px; width:-3px; border-width:0; font-size:13px; font-weight:bold; '>,&nbspSr&nbspDev</div>

</div> <!close Person>

</div> <!close Panel1 ()>



All email answered.  edw519 at gmail
Copyright © 2017 Ed Weissman