Piggy McKay

Piggy is a consultant for the accounting firm that audits our books. He's in the I.T practice and gets his assignments from the accounting practice that is already well entrenched in their customers' businesses.

He comes from a wealthy family, has an ivy league degree, and got the job because his father is a partner in another division. His purpose in life is to bill the maximum number of hours at the highest rate so that his bosses maximize their bonuses. It doesn't matter what he does or how well he does it, only that his time sheets are full.

He has never actually done anything. The only thing he knows about building software, running projects, or getting things done is from his firm's literature, training, and laptop tools. He spends most of his time copying boilerplate documents from Sharepoint to Confluence and back, stopping only to change the company logo and team member names. Then he files status reports saying that no one but he is doing their still undefined job. Every project ends in failure, but that doesn't matter because there are hundreds more prospects ready for the picking from the accounting practice customer list.

Inspired by:Eric, Steve, Amy, Jim, Chet
Primary Motivation:maximizing his billings
Pet Peeve:having to actually do any work
Catch Phrase:"Corporacity sagatiates our aerogumfragated apocratumption."
Biggest Accomplishment:getting paid for 12 years without doing anything
Favorite Movie:Office Space
Favorite book:Softwisdom


How Piggy is Drawn

Piggy is drawn with 21 rectangles, each with a border and some with rounded corners or slanted angles. These rectangles are described by data stored as arguments that are converted by software into HTML that your browser displays as pictures. Check out this Javascript example of code you can play with to alter my characters or create your own. Here are Piggy's arguments:

Line left:89 top:27 width:0 height:106 bdrWth:0 leftWth:2
Piggy, Consultant
Talk left:0 top:0 width:152 bdrWth:10 font-size:15 bdrClr:#d2e383 background:#d2e383 text-align:center ClipWth:264
Piggy, Consultant
Person left:32 top:130 bdrWth:0
Piggy, Consultant
LeftEar1 left:1 top:6 width:31 height:31 leftWth:2 rgtWth:2 topWth:2 botWth:2 radius:50% background:#fbc994 Angle:80 ClipWth:18 ClipHgt:18
Piggy, Consultant
LeftEar2 left:9 top:0 width:31 height:31 leftWth:2 rgtWth:2 topWth:2 botWth:2 radius:50% background:#fbc994 Angle:-60 ClipWth:18 ClipHgt:18
Piggy, Consultant
RightEar1 left:80 top:6 width:31 height:31 leftWth:2 rgtWth:2 topWth:2 botWth:2 radius:50% background:#fbc994 Angle:10 ClipWth:18 ClipHgt:18
Piggy, Consultant
RightEar2 left:70 top:0 width:31 height:31 leftWth:2 rgtWth:2 topWth:2 botWth:2 radius:50% background:#fbc994 Angle:-210 ClipWth:18 ClipHgt:18
Piggy, Consultant
Torso left:-12 top:98 width:135 height:135 radius:37 background:cornflowerblue
Piggy, Consultant
Face left:12 top:11 width:89 height:89 radius:50% background:#fbc994
Piggy, Consultant
LeftEye left:18 top:22 width:18 height:18 radius:50% background:white
Piggy, Consultant
RightEye left:49 top:22 width:18 height:18 radius:50% background:white
Piggy, Consultant
LeftCornea left:25 top:32 width:3 height:3 radius:50% background:black
Piggy, Consultant
RightCornea left:58 top:32 width:3 height:3 radius:50% background:black
Piggy, Consultant
Mouth left:32 top:71 width:24 height:6 radius:50% background:lightcoral
Piggy, Consultant
Nose left:32 top:43 width:24 height:18 radius:50%
Piggy, Consultant
LeftNostril left:36 top:49 width:4 height:6 radius:50% background:black
Piggy, Consultant
RightNostril left:46 top:49 width:4 height:6 radius:50% background:black
Piggy, Consultant
Earpiece left:4 top:10 width:4 height:12 radius:50% background:black Angle:30
Piggy, Consultant
Headset left:1 top:13 width:53 height:53 radius:35% Angle:-110 ClipHgt:11
Piggy, Consultant
Mike left:21 top:68 width:7 height:3 radius:50% background:black
Piggy, Consultant
Name left:5 top:108 bdrWth:0 font-size:13
Piggy, Consultant

The Resulting HTML:

<div id='Panel1' class='aaa' style='position:relative; width:166px; height:257px; border:2px solid; background-color:#d2e383; color:black; display:inline-block; vertical-align:top; font-family:Ssans-serif,cursive,sans-serif; margin-right:0px; overflow:hidden; margin-bottom:5px; '>

<div id='Line' class='abs2' style='left:89px; top:27px; width:0; height:106px; border-width:0; border-left-width:2px; '></div>

<div id='Talk' class='abs2' style='left:0; top:0; width:152px; border-width:10px; font-size:15px; border-color:#d2e383; background:#d2e383; text-align:center; clip:rect(0 264px 9999px 0); font-weight:bold; '> BLAH BLAH BLAH</div>

<div id='Person' class='abs2' style='left:32px; top:130px; border-width:0; '>

<div id='LeftEar1' class='abs2' style='left:2px; top:6px; width:31px; height:31px; border-left-width:2px; border-right-width:2px; border-top-width:2px; border-bottom-width:2px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:#fbc994; transform:rotate(80deg); clip:rect(0 18px 18px 0); '></div>

<div id='LeftEar2' class='abs2' style='left:9px; top:0; width:31px; height:31px; border-left-width:2px; border-right-width:2px; border-top-width:2px; border-bottom-width:2px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:#fbc994; transform:rotate(-60deg); clip:rect(0 18px 18px 0); '></div>

<div id='RightEar1' class='abs2' style='left:80px; top:6px; width:31px; height:31px; border-left-width:2px; border-right-width:2px; border-top-width:2px; border-bottom-width:2px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:#fbc994; transform:rotate(10deg); clip:rect(0 18px 18px 0); '></div>

<div id='RightEar2' class='abs2' style='left:70px; top:0; width:31px; height:31px; border-left-width:2px; border-right-width:2px; border-top-width:2px; border-bottom-width:2px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:#fbc994; transform:rotate(-210deg); clip:rect(0 18px 18px 0); '></div>

<div id='Torso' class='abs2' style='left:-12px; top:98px; width:135px; height:135px; border-radius:37px; -moz-border-radius:37px; -webkit-border-radius:37px; background:cornflowerblue; '></div>

<div id='Face' class='abs2' style='left:12px; top:11px; width:89px; height:89px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:#fbc994; '>

<div id='LeftEye' class='abs2' style='left:18px; top:22px; width:18px; height:18px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:white; '></div>

<div id='RightEye' class='abs2' style='left:49px; top:22px; width:18px; height:18px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:white; '></div>

<div id='LeftCornea' class='abs2' style='left:25px; top:32px; width:3px; height:3px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

<div id='RightCornea' class='abs2' style='left:58px; top:32px; width:3px; height:3px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

<div id='Mouth' class='abs2' style='left:32px; top:71px; width:24px; height:6px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:lightcoral; '></div>

<div id='Nose' class='abs2' style='left:32px; top:43px; width:24px; height:18px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; '></div>

<div id='LeftNostril' class='abs2' style='left:36px; top:49px; width:4px; height:6px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

<div id='RightNostril' class='abs2' style='left:46px; top:49px; width:4px; height:6px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

<div id='Earpiece' class='abs2' style='left:4px; top:10px; width:4px; height:12px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; transform:rotate(30deg); '></div>

<div id='Headset' class='abs2' style='left:2px; top:13px; width:53px; height:53px; border-radius:35%; -moz-border-radius:35%; -webkit-border-radius:35%; transform:rotate(-110deg); clip:rect(0 9999px 11px 0); '></div>

<div id='Mike' class='abs2' style='left:21px; top:68px; width:7px; height:3px; border-radius:50%; -moz-border-radius:50%; -webkit-border-radius:50%; background:black; '></div>

</div> <!close Face>

<div id='Name' class='abs2' style='left:5px; top:108px; border-width:0; font-size:13px; font-weight:bold; '>,&nbspConsultant</div>

</div> <!close Person>

</div> <!close Panel1 ()>



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