10. The exact same code is in multiple places because you didn't bother to put in into a common function.
9. You have error codes in functions, but never bother to look at them (a sure sign that testing was never finished).
8. You have early exits from loops because you don't know how to properly code a recursion.
7. You execute too much code because you don't know the difference between "if" and "case".
6. You use 10 lines of code when 1 line would do because you don't know any better.
5. You need to run batch jobs from time to time to clean up your data base because you don't know how to debug well enough to find what's messing it up.
4. A third grader doesn't know what your variable names mean.
3. You think "Third Normal Form" is paperwork you need to fill out for one of your 8 bosses.
2. No programmer who has to maintain your code would ever want to work with you.
1. Any programmer that has to maintain your code would be more than happy to accept the consequences of first degree murder.